Meet Emma Murphy. Emma, a 26 year old Irish mother of two and blogger, was in a relationship with the man who was the love of her life, for three and a half years.
While pregnant, her partner cheated and lied about it. This lie later turned their lives upside down when it was revealed the other woman was pregnant.
It’s evident from what Emma says in this video that she had been emotionally abused for some time and that started long before any sign of physical violence.
Emma’s bravery to speak out about her experience is commendable. I too was once a Mummy blogger and can relate to the abuse she suffered. I am just not brave enough to blog about it without anonymity.
In my experience, and as it seems with Emma, the emotional abuse was the start of the domestic violence cycle.
Emotional abuse can be considered easier to get away with. It’s often subtle and is not limited to verbal abuse as most consider it to be – emotional abuse comes in many forms. Over time, in almost all cases, emotional abuse creates a codependency between the abused and the abuser. Any reactions or outbursts from the abuser about their treatment, is often met with cries of, “You’re over reacting”, “You’re crazy” or phrases to that effect.
Examples of Emotional Abuse include, but are not limited to, are:
* Name calling
* Unnecessary teasing described as a “joke”
* Gaslighting or creating self doubt
* Using events from your past against you
* Reaffirming your insecurities by pointing them out
* Belittling comments and put downs
* Comparing you to others
* Isolation from friends and family
* Being told to behave or dress in certain ways
* Consistently not following through on “promises” and accuses you of “nagging” over simple things
* Going through your phone, email or social media accounts without cause or reason
* Falsely accusing you
* Putting in barriers to reduce the time you have for hobbies, sports or other activities you enjoy
* Deflecting their bad behaviour and turning it around on you
* Dismissing your opinion or thoughts on a regular basis
If you experience any or all of these regularly, you are experiencing emotional abuse. Please find the courage to get out before it turns physical. Abuse, of any form, is never okay.
Remember, there are never red flags. Only deal breakers.
Watch Emma’s story here:
Until next time,